Thankful

This year, Thanksgiving has arrived with a renewed joy and gratefulness. In 2006 and 2007, Thanksgiving brought losses, sadness, and grief. In 2008, we were nervously expecting Alex but Thanksgiving brought new fear about his chances for survival and threats to my health. But this year is totally different.

Alex is a growing (and I mean really GROWING) boy with bright blue eyes and a smile that melts my heart. Charlotte is nearing 5 years old and has recently learned to read. I love her dark brown eyes and skinny, little legs. She's so silly and keeps our family laughing. And after a very close call and an extended stay at Dayton Children's, Sarah is returning to her normal self. While she is still down in weight and fatigues very easily, she is getting more energetic every day and her appetite is returning. Her giant brown eyes are bright once again and her infectious laugh is back to its full gusto. She has been drawing lots of turkey pictures and fretting about tornadoes again so we know she's back. Andy has been keeping busy with work and house projects. Today he is running the Turkey Trot and I'm so proud of his commitment to running. He turned to running last fall when it was too dark in the mornings to play basketball and somehow, the running has stuck. I admire his dedication.

This year, I'm thankful for so many things:

• A wonderfully supportive husband who leads our family with careful thought and sets an amazing example for our children
• A nervous 6-year-old who worries about the seemingly strangest of things but is creative, energetic, and full of curiosity
• A silly 4-year-old who talks incessantly and enjoys playing alone, even if she does still suck her thumb
• A bright-eyed, bouncing baby boy who loves to pound on his bee toy and giggles when I tickle his roly-poly thighs
• Long-time friends with whom I don't need to be in constant contact but when we do see each other, it's like we've been talking all along
• New friends who make me feel like a fun person again and who remind me of the things I cherish most in friendships
• Supportive family who showers us with love and generous encouragement
• An encouraging church family who provided so much more than just meals during our time of need
• A warm home that shelters our family
• A pantry full of food to nourish our bodies
• Knowledgeable doctors who help us keep ourselves and our children healthy and strong
• A strong, proud, BRAVE military devoted to keeping our nation safe.
• And most importantly, I'm thankful for a loving God who guides my life and to whom I turn in good times and times of struggle for guidance and wisdom. Without Him in my life, I cannot imagine living.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Father's Day

I always knew you'd make a great father. That's one thing that I admired most about you, long before we were married and had children. But what I thought I knew is only the tip of the iceberg. You're a wonderful father. Our children are so blessed to call you Dad. You're so funny and they love laughing with you. Hearing all of you laugh together makes my heart smile. You're gentle with them when they need you to be and stern when the situation demands it. You encourage our children to dream big, set high expectations for themselves, be creative, and love each other purely. You are setting a good example of what it means to treat others with kindness, be a good friend, and reach out to those in need. You are modeling for our daughters what they should look for in a faithful and loving husband and for our son, you are setting an example of the kind of husband I hope he'll someday become. You've made our family your priority and your willingness accordingly is inspiring. Our children's hearts are being groomed for selflessness because they see this example in you.

I always knew you'd make a great father. What I didn't expect was for you to make me want to be a better mother. Thank you for loving all of our children and for loving me the way you do. We stand in awe of your leadership, generosity, and love.

I love you, And. Happy Father's Day.

12 years

I was going to post about this yesterday but I didn't have time with Alex being cranky from his shots, so it gets here today.

Twelve years ago yesterday, Andy and I officially became a couple. We had had an undefined relationship up to that point, though we both felt a strong connection from the time we met 17 months prior. My friend, Rebecca, and I had ridden to Cleveland with Andy to visit with his friends for the weekend. It was a Sunday and shortly before leaving to come back to Dayton, I approached Andy about his earlier suggestions that we declare ourselves a couple. We had talked about it many times and I was always the one to hesitate. But something about spending time with him that weekend reassured me that what I was feeling was real and I was excited to make this commitment. The ride back to college was thrilling and awkward but I was hopeful for the future.

Just two months later, it was decided that Andy would not return to WSU the following year. Despite the 230 miles between us, we maintained a strong connection and grew closer with time. For more than 3 years, we had a long-distance relationship, seeing each other only about every 8-10 weeks for a weekend. It was very difficult to watch him drive away after only 48 hours of time together and on the weekends I visited Cleveland, the 3 1/2 hour home was not pretty. But we were determined to stay together and look toward the future.

The "future" finally arrived when, in May 2000, Andy moved to Dayton so we could continue our relationship in the same city. It didn't take long after his relocation for us to become engaged in November and married the following August.

On April 6, 1997, I could not have predicted all of the things we'd experience together, both beautiful and tragic. I could not have predicted what a supportive and amazing husband he'd become. I could not have predicted how wonderful he'd be with our children. I could not have imagined how happy and loved he'd make me feel. At the time, what seemed like a somewhat insignificant decision became one of the most significant choices in my life.

And I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Long time, no post

Wow, it's been a whirlwind around here for the last 6 weeks. Alex's birth was amazing and beautiful. We are truly blessed to have a wonderful son and the girls are thrilled with their little brother.

Every time a mama brings home a baby, there are always learning curves. Each baby is special and unique and comes with his/her own challenges. For whatever reason, my milk supply has been questionable this time around and without cause. With Charlotte, because of a placental abruption during delivery that led to a large amount of blood loss and pituitary damage, I had some supply issues that were only complicated by her nipple confusion from being bottlefed in the nursery at the hospital. So we had a steep hill to climb with her but after some intense work, by about 7 weeks all was well. I never had any problems with nursing Sarah except for an occasional bout of thrush. So I was expecting everything to go smoothly with Alex since his delivery was DREAMY!

But alas, that was not in the cards. He lost a little weight in the hospital and continued losing weight after we brought him home, despite my nursing him every 2 hours around the clock. He also had to be hospitalized for jaundice and that definitely DIDN'T help. He was very sleepy and keeping him awake long enough to nurse effectively was a real feat. So it was no wonder he wasn't gaining weight.

By 9 days old, he was down to 6lbs, 15oz after weighing in at 8lbs 1.6oz at birth. That's a pretty significant drop, I know. So I rented a hospital grade pump and got a prescription for Reglan to increase my supply in the short-term. All of a sudden, he started gaining weight.

The ideal weight gain for a breastfed baby is 4-7 ounces/week. For the last couple of weeks, Alex has been gaining about an ounce/day. I weighed him yesterday while we were at the pediatrican for Charlotte's 4-year well check and he weighed 8lbs, 15oz which is 11 ounces in 12 days. So I'm okay with that. He's scheduled for his 2-month check in about 3 weeks so I'm hoping he'll be over 10 pounds then.

I also saw a new doctor to look into the possibility of a thyroid issue that could be causing this weird supply problem. Maybe something got messed up after Charlotte's birth that never really corrected itself? Maybe I lost more blood during Alex's birth than I thought? Maybe there's something I'm missing? I'm all set for blood work this upcoming Thursday to investigate these matters. In the meantime, today is my last day of my second Reglan prescription. According to the lactation consultant, Reglan can be used three times so I think I have only one more go-round with it before I won't be able to take it anymore. Apparently the side effects can be really bad but I've had none of those. I also go on Thursday for my 6-week postpartum followup. I plan to talk extensively about this supply issue and figure out what's going on. The problem is, most doctors think it's no big deal to get over it and bottle feed. But after I nursed Sarah for 13 months and Charlotte for 18 months, it's not easy (or really an option in my opinion) to give up on Alex. So I'm keeping at it in hopes of straightening everything out and enjoying a long breastfeeding relationship with my new boy.

Alex is a wonderful baby. He doesn't cry very much, he's been a great sleeper since his first night home, and he's very snuggly. He started smiling this past weekend but he's still pretty selective about to whom he flashes that toothless grin. I'm sure he'll be more generous with those as he gets older. He's spending much more time awake these days and is very observant. I am so looking forward to watching him grow and develop as the years pass.

I promise to update more often now that we have computer issues resolved. My computer bit the dust and Andy had to work some "computer guy" magic to retrieve my information for loading onto his machine.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today I'm thankful for so many things:

• My wonderful husband
• Two beautiful daughters
• Five precious Angels watching over our family
• A growing, thriving baby kicking my belly
• Our warm home
• The gift of friendship
• A loving extended family
• The blessing of a large, nourshing meal
• Intelligent doctors
• A sunny morning for Andy's race
• And the comfort of God's grace, without which, none of these blessings would exist.

Happy Thanksgiving.